Thousands of books, millions of blog articles and countless TV talk shows have devoted their time and attention to the subject of happiness (or sometimes approaching it from the opposite direction, dealing with avoiding depression and suffering). I’m not sure that I really have anything new to add to the volumes of writing and discussion on the topic. I do, however, believe there some basic common elements we can find in almost any of the writings out there which I will summarize in this article.
Letting Go
I believe the single most important principle in increased personal happiness can come from letting go. I will admit, I think the Buddhist have the market on understanding the concept of letting go. The third Noble Truth in Buddhism states
“The Buddha said, “And this, monks, is the noble truth of the cessation of dukkha: the remainderless fading and cessation, renunciation, relinquishment, release, and letting go of that very craving.”
Dukkha is the Pali word for “suffering”; in other words, to stop suffering, you have to let go of desire/craving/attachment. Think about those with chronic depression. Almost all of them have difficulty letting go of some dark past filled with suffering. They feel these collective past experiences make up the identity they have in this moment right now. What they have difficulty truly understanding is that the person you are now does not have to be the product of your past. It is a very, very difficult concept for people to comprehend as most of our habits and word views are based on learned patterns and habits of years of experience which form the story of our past–our history and therefor they become our self defined identity. Buddhism attempts to teach that it is possible to let go of this past identity by mindful focus on the current moment of now. This mindfulness, this focus in the current moment, is the little key that releases a gigantic load of suffering. One of my favorite Monks, Ajahn Brahm, often uses an analogy of a man carrying two very heavy suitcases, one in each hand. The one on the left is labeled “Past” and the one on the right has the word “Future” written on it. The man carries around these two extremely heavy suitcases with hunched shoulders and short, shuffling steps. However, when he lets go of the past and future, he is able to stand upright. With the release of the heavy burden, he is able to stand up straight. His strength can return and he can look around him at the wonderful world we live in. I love this analogy and applaud Ajahn Brahm for it.
We begin by putting down the two big ‘suitcases’ that we carry with us most of the time. One is called ‘the past’; the other is called ‘the future’. We leave them by ‘the door’ and allow our mind to come into the present moment. We do this by pactising the first stage of letting go: Present- Moment Awareness.
Make a Conscience Decision to Be Happy
I realize it sounds lame telling someone to choose to be happy; the obvious, common response from any sane individual would most likely be, “Do you think I want to feel depressed? If I could choose to be happy, I would.” For most of my life I fell into the category of those who felt happiness was not a decision one could actively make but rather an expression or reflection of what was being felt within the complex emotions of the mind. It wasn’t until March of 2014 when I had the light bulb “Ah hah” moment when I finally got it. Indeed, happiness is a choice. Yes, you can actively choose to be happy; the trick is figuring out how the mechanism works… which is something we are not taught in our K-12 education system and rarely learn in our home environments. So what is the trick? For me it is this: making an effort to see the good, the positive, the happy part of any given situation or event. It is choosing to be an optimist in every situation and seeing the glass as half full rather than half empty. It comes down to creating a regular “habit” of looking for the joy in any situation. I know it sounds corny and stupid, but it really is that simple. It takes a lot of focus and practice for someone who has not done it before. I find it also helps to gave gratitude (more than just being thankful), but having a deep, profound gratitude for where you are in your life right now. Combine those two things together, and I think you will have a formula for joy and happiness in most situations.
